So, Milk. We use a lot of milk. The kids inhale the stuff, and they are serious about their addiction. Even Jacob drinks lots of milk, even though he also still nurses. Go figure. And then there is the cereal, and the coffee, and all that.
We use, oh, 3-4 liters per day. Sometimes more. That's a gallon to you Imperial guys. It's a lot of milk.
I used to buy the expensive Parmalat milk which costs about $2.50 a liter. $10 a day just for milk. $300 a month. $3,600 per year. It adds up. So I decided, a little while back, to switch to the cheaper Russian milk. Only $1! Much cheaper. A friend of mine had used the Russian milk with no adverse reactions for years, so I went ahead and saved us some money. Oh, the money we saved. It was wonderful. I plotted houses, oh, castles, with the money we saved. I could buy wonderful designer furniture and art! Art!
And then yesterday, evening, I handed Alan his milk. He started drinking while I was in the other room. I heard him spit and cough. He came to me and said, with the utmost digust on his face, "Mommy, someone has put an experiment in my milk."
I know, that's funny. I thought so too, and tasted the milk. I nearly spit up. I have never, ever, in my entire life, ever tasted anything so vile. I handed it to Doug and he yelled, "That's disgusting! What is that?"
We shall never know. Some kind of chemical agent that is incompatible with life. Maybe a hefty dose of a cleaning product. Maybe an evil Russian plan to poison Armenia children. I don't know. We threw the milk away and vowed to return to our generous days of buying expensive imported Italian milk. So there we are.
Oh, and then Russia closed its borders to Georgia. You know, about the whole spy thing?
Russian milk comes from Russia. Now that the border is closed, it comes from Russia no more. So, no more Russian milk. What does that mean for the milk from Italy?
Exactly.
A friend called me when the news of the border came through and recommended to stock up on milk. I have now 72 liters of good Italian milk sitting in my house. I also started watering the boy's milk down, about half/half with water. They didn't find me out! I can save money after all!
And the Russians, well, they are just evil. I hope the Georgians show them some teeth.
We go to restaurants and I will always water down Allison's milk if it is not low-fat. How anyone can drink cream is beyond me... Gimme the good watered down skim stuff. Allison, OTOH, is fascinated with the little Parmalat milk boxes -- "Mommy, it's *milk* in a box!" :-)
Posted by: Natalie | October 02, 2006 at 06:41 PM
I've grown a lot less fond of the Russians, to be honest, since marrying my Ukrainian wife. Besides the fact that her grandmother, who is a Russian, is a serious PITA, the whole Gas War and the fallout has seriously pissed us off: Lyuda's sister, our nephew, and her mom are all dependant on natural gas to stay warm...*sighs*
As for Milk, Avrora drinks so much of it it drives us nuts. Whole milk, hormone free. She goes through a gallon in 3 days, maybe 4. It's $4/gallon. Lyuda and I drink fat-free stuff at her insistance and that's mildly cheaper and we take a week to go through a gallon. We're not as bad as you guys, but...milk does eat a chunk of our culinary budget. Avrora's appetite for cheese does too.
Posted by: Will Baird | October 02, 2006 at 07:49 PM
I guess Wisconsin milk is out of the question?
When I was a teenager, I would drink a gallon a day of dairy fresh milk. I would occasionally drain the plastic jug in one enormous draught. Soooo good.
Okay, I can get obsessive about this.
Posted by: Carlos | October 02, 2006 at 08:39 PM
I don't really know much about why this happens, but when a cow changes its feed between grass and grain, her milk gets "off". This can come through even in big jugs of milk that has been blended from lots of farms. I can't explain the taste, except to say it can be really unpleasant. I usually experience it in springtime, when the cows suddenly hit green grass after being inside on grain for months. Who knows, it may be the cause in your case.
Yes, weird milk facts from the girl from Wisconsin.
Posted by: Carrie | October 03, 2006 at 02:49 AM
I would occasionally drain the plastic jug in one enormous draught. Soooo good.
Eek. The one time I tried that (on a bet), I ended up spewing all over my buddy's kitchen. Cost me $25, and the same for another guy who bet on my cast-iron gut.
Posted by: Bernard Guerrero | October 04, 2006 at 12:20 AM
Carrie, I heard of this but I don't think it was that. The smell and taste were not like off-milk, they were like some vile chemical compound. And it was only one box out of many of the same batch. I'm leaning towards the cleaning solution but who knows.
Me, I'm a fullfat kinda girl. Give me whole milk over that skimpish thin stuff anytime. I won't drink cream but I can certainly eat lots of it in whipped form!
Doug just wants "a hint of milk".
City girls and boys. They don't know what's good! :-)
Posted by: claudia | October 04, 2006 at 05:17 PM
Russia, during the Soviet years, innovated the drink vending machine with only one cup.
One wonders that a cootie epidemic didn't wipe them out.
Posted by: Carlos | October 04, 2006 at 07:48 PM
Russia, during the Soviet years, innovated the drink vending machine with only one cup.
One wonders that a cootie epidemic didn't wipe them out.
Heh. That certainly was skeevy, though I imagine I might have tempted fate had I not already gotten a case of Lenin's Revenge via the food. And the Pepsi was flat.
Posted by: Bernard Guerrero | October 04, 2006 at 09:55 PM