So, Milk. We use a lot of milk. The kids inhale the stuff, and they are serious about their addiction. Even Jacob drinks lots of milk, even though he also still nurses. Go figure. And then there is the cereal, and the coffee, and all that.
We use, oh, 3-4 liters per day. Sometimes more. That's a gallon to you Imperial guys. It's a lot of milk.
I used to buy the expensive Parmalat milk which costs about $2.50 a liter. $10 a day just for milk. $300 a month. $3,600 per year. It adds up. So I decided, a little while back, to switch to the cheaper Russian milk. Only $1! Much cheaper. A friend of mine had used the Russian milk with no adverse reactions for years, so I went ahead and saved us some money. Oh, the money we saved. It was wonderful. I plotted houses, oh, castles, with the money we saved. I could buy wonderful designer furniture and art! Art!
And then yesterday, evening, I handed Alan his milk. He started drinking while I was in the other room. I heard him spit and cough. He came to me and said, with the utmost digust on his face, "Mommy, someone has put an experiment in my milk."
I know, that's funny. I thought so too, and tasted the milk. I nearly spit up. I have never, ever, in my entire life, ever tasted anything so vile. I handed it to Doug and he yelled, "That's disgusting! What is that?"
We shall never know. Some kind of chemical agent that is incompatible with life. Maybe a hefty dose of a cleaning product. Maybe an evil Russian plan to poison Armenia children. I don't know. We threw the milk away and vowed to return to our generous days of buying expensive imported Italian milk. So there we are.
Oh, and then Russia closed its borders to Georgia. You know, about the whole spy thing?
Russian milk comes from Russia. Now that the border is closed, it comes from Russia no more. So, no more Russian milk. What does that mean for the milk from Italy?
Exactly.
A friend called me when the news of the border came through and recommended to stock up on milk. I have now 72 liters of good Italian milk sitting in my house. I also started watering the boy's milk down, about half/half with water. They didn't find me out! I can save money after all!
And the Russians, well, they are just evil. I hope the Georgians show them some teeth.
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