Cruising

I turned 40.  That was a little while ago, and I got used to it.  Kids, and lots of them, and very exuberant active ones, are the best way to ensure you cannot brood over stupid things.  So, I didn't descend into the depths of despair over this number, even though I remember both my parents' 40 birthdays in my teens - they were young parents, and I'm an old parent.  That is the only gripe I have with my age.

Anyway.  This is not about age.  This is about my birthday present.  My wonderful soulmate and husband gave me a week-long cruise in the Caribbean with my best friend, without any kids, for a present.  From January 14 on, I'll be on the Millenium bound for the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, and the Bahamas.  Our room is only a few feet away from the on-ship library, we have a terrace looking out over the sea, we get hors-d'oevres and fresh fruit every day, we have two formal dinners (and I have two new dresses), a day at the spa, plans for our shore excursions...  and no kids.

No kids!

This is both a blessing and a curse.  Before I left, I found myself giving my nanny instructions for the cases of

• severe head injuries,
• fire,
• earthquake,
• war,
• open, bleeding wounds.

Heh, that may be anal but if they have to survive outside at -20 degrees because the house was flattened in an earthquake, it's really important for them to know where the space blankets are, no?  I also left a gazillion phone numbers, including the direct line to the ship. I left five kilos of chicken nuggets, a pile of groceries, kilos and kilos of frozen vegetables, recipes for favorite dishes...

I am at my Mom's house at the moment, taking a day's break in my trip from Yerevan to Ft. Lauderdale (I will also break the trip in DC).  I find myself wanting to walk into rooms to check on various kids, and it's way too quiet and way too clean and nice in the house.  It's never clean and nice when my kids are here.  I slept for 14 hours.  I read for hours, without interruption.  I went to the bathroom and nobody wanted to "be with Mommy".   My Mom and I will go shopping today without having to arrange for various kids to be taken care of.

It's nice.  It's lonely.  It's weird.  And I discovered that it is possible to have a wonderful time with pangs of pain and guilt.  Being a parent is a strange, strange thing.

(I also miss my husband, btw.  But in a different way.)

Comments

[Natalie]

Strangely enough my rather nice, but somewhat scruffy, husband gave me the same thing for my birthday. :-)

I suspect that I will not be allowed to provide any instructions "in the case of..." since my mother-in-law will be watching Allison. She knows better since she raised THREE kids. :-) And it might very well be -20 degrees there, too. I shudder to think what Allison will be eating for the 8 days she will be in Cleveland. Oh well, just a few more bad habits I'll have to take care of once I return.

I will be packing tomorrow for three people, since I do not trust said-husband to do that job. I shudder to think what he'd pack for Allison, not to mention himself. I suspect that one would find the following selection of Allison's clothing in the suitcase: 3 pairs of underpants, 9 shirts, 2 pairs of pants, 1 dress, 16 pairs of tights, 1 sock and 3 shoes.... I am hoping to do a better job for all of us. Then it will be the Lido Deck for us in 4 days. FOUR days? EEEK! :-)

Natalie -- who didn't buy 2 new dresses, but that was because I just bought a new one in the spring and wore it once.

[Natalie]

I can go into the bathroom with you if it will help make you feel at home. :-)