Ex Patria

Enigma

Jacob displayed first signs of sickness in February.  It started with mouth ulcers, and then came diarrhea.  Not just any kind of diarrhea - it was a diarrhea that never stopped.  It would be bad, really really bad, for a day or two.  Then he would have very soft stools for a couple of days.  Then he would get very bad again. Sometimes, there were days with no stool at all, then there would be 10 exploding diapers the next day.  He never had any diarrhea at night but he would wake up and immediately have an extremely watery poop.  If I wasn't there to catch him when he woke up, I would find him soiled, wet, and very stinky.  He had lots of undigested food in his stool.  He lost weight, then regained it.  On bad days, he would simply sway and fall over, out of a stand.  He was grumpy, he was whiny, he was not my sunshine child anymore.

It was scary.

I took him to a doctor who wanted to put him on antibiotics.  I left and never saw the doctor again. I called doctors in Germany, in the US.  The symptoms just didn't make any sense.  Everybody warned me to take care that he would not dehydrate.  We made him drink, and drink - and we were very pleased to see that dehydration was not a problem. That, in turn, baffled the doctors - kids with diarrhea, especially with chronic diarrhea, do get dehydrated.

I don't know how many hours I spent on the Internet trying to find out what was going on with Jacob.  His symptoms were baffling.  The come-on-go in waves part of the illness was not explained by anything I read.  The ulcers didn't fit. He looked to darn healthy to begin with. And the only thing I came up with that fit all his symptoms was celiac disease.

Can you write your name in Cyrillic?

Alan came home from school yesterday with the good news that he doesn't have to do the Russian worksheets for homework anymore.  I'd been among those parents complaining that our kids come home at 4 pm only to have to sit down and do homework for another half hour.  So, that's all good now - he comes home and he can play and relax. 

But yesterday, he also brought home a colored printout which he did in Russian (why, I don't know).  And I was amused to see that he'd signed it in Russian. I suppose that means he's learning something.

Desperately seeking

You may - or may not - know that our almost-two-year-old has been having medical issues for quite a while.  A detailed description will take hours to write down, and will bore everyone but the most dedicated medical student to tears.  Suffice it to say that he has chronic diarrhea (since February!), accompanied by a host of other strange symptoms that range from tongue ulcers to gross motor control issues to extreme irritability.  Throw in very dry skin and skin eczema, loss of appetite, gradual delay in language development...

We've been testing for celiac disease, amoeba, giardia - the usual suspects.  All negative. Since he's adorable and wonderful, it's hard to believe he's sick just by looking at him.  Which is ultimately what the doctors did in the German hospital when we were evacuated this summer.  All the tests were negative, EEG normal, neurophysical exam normal, stool normal, blood normal.... all but a diagnosis of anemia remained normal. They labeled me hysterical and sent me home.

And things did not get better.  Now we are at the point where we are ready to point guns at doctors if they would just keep at it and find a REASON.

Truth be told, in the summer when we were in the German hospital, Jacob did show relatively few symptoms, and he did not exhibit those tongue ulcers that squick me so.  But he did yesterday (as he did last week, and the week before, and the week before that...).  So genius struck my husband and we took a picture, sent it to our health insurance - and it really is true that a picture says more than a thousand words.  We got an answer within the hour, and now we have the task of finding a "competent pediatric gastroenterologist in an academic setting with experience in developing countries". 

That's easier said than done.  Any ideas?

You may look at the picture of the ulcers under the fold, if you are not squeamish and think you can help us identify the cause of all the misery.  Or if you are not squeamish and just curious.

Ruled out are: Celiac disease, giardia, amoebiasis, various food allergies including nuts, soy, wheat, egg, and milk.

Lessons in real life

David: "You know, Mommy, trapdoor spiders live underground.  And they wait until something juicy comes by, and then they jump out! And eat the juicy thing."

Boys

There's something special and precious about boys - every parent of boys and girls notices that their natures are different. Boys tend to wear their feelings on their sleeves - often their passions are strong and they seem to have an urge to protect. They love heroism and actions. Boys are loyal, stoic, and have a strong sense of justice. They are humorous, optimistic, and up-front.
When I look at little boys, and see how cheaply the world often treats them - how few of their special qualities are supported and nurtured - it makes me very sad.
[...]
A boy is three times more likely to die before his twenty-first birthday than a girl - largely from preventable causes - accident, violence, suicide, drug overdose.  He is nine times more likely to end up in prison. Nine times more likely to get expelled or suspended from school. Three times more likely to have learning disabilities or be in a remedial class.
Steve Biddulph, More secrets of happy children

Boys are special.  For someone who only ever wanted one. single. girl., having three boys is quite a challenge.  Now, I know that my boys are very special and I wouldn't trade any of them for anything else in the world (not even for a little girl).  They are also... boys. Everything is a weapon, Superheroes are cool, robots need to be armed to be complete, and risks... well, risks are there to be taken.  I know where those gray hairs come from! I know more about Teen Titans than I ever wanted to know, and nothing at all about, say, Barbies. (I do actually view that as a good thing.)  There will always be a little part of me that is sad about not doing a little girl's hair, or being able to shop those cute clothes, or not ever being the mother of the bride. But the boys I have - those are some cool boys.

Alan is sensitive and very caring, always concerned about his brothers (when he's not beating them up). David, well, it's David's world and we just live in it.  Jacob is sweet and funny.  They are all very special.

David: "We shouldn't take sticks from trees.  That hurts Mother Earth.  Then she will bleed."
Alan: "Earth can't bleed."
David: "Oh, right.  I forgot about that.  Well, it hurts her anyway."
(Not sure where "Mother Earth" comes from.)

Jacob: "Mama, komm!" (Uttered about three hundred times per day.)

Alan, building a robot with his construction toy:  "My brain tells me that this blue piece needs to go here."

Alan, presenting me with one of his creations: "Schau, Mama! Das ist für dich! Und sieh, keine Waffeln!"
("Look, Mama, this is for you!  And look, no weapons."  What he's actually saying is "no waffles" as the German word for weapons "Waffen" sounds rather close to waffles, "Waffeln".)

David's preschool teacher calls.
Teacher: "We asked the children today how the seasons are made, and David said, it's because the Earth goes around the sun! He was the only one who knew that!"
Me: "Well, actually, it's the axial tilt..."
Teacher, ignoring me: "He so smart! He knows so much!"
Me: "Okay. That's wonderful!", resolving to go over that particular topic one more time at home.

Busy

This is Alan's weekly school schedule.  I'm really glad we did not advance him into first grade when kindergarten already looks like this!  He also has homework for his Russian classes.  Poor mite, the serious part of life has sort of sprung on him.

 

And yes, this is how Alan's artwork and paperwork looks when he brings it home.  He is, after all, a five-year-old boy.

To the piece of shit in Chisinau

You suck.  You use the goodness of my man to steal his iPod after he's shown HIS KIDS' PIX, for goodness' sake?  How vile do you have to be to do that?

If the gods listen to me, you'll get crotch lice, and painful itchy rashes, and you will not be able to sleep at night, and you will lose all tolerance for alcohol.

You fucking idiot.  You're probably proud you stole my kids' pictures.  Asshole.

To all decent people from Chisinau:  If you see a piece of shit using a silver iPod Nano 2 GB, ask him to see the serial number.  If the number is 7K725CAAVQ5, kick him in the balls and take it from him. Keep the iPod, but kick him, hard.

Thank you.

And how was your weekend?

Jelly, plums in red wine, chutney, figs in port...  Generally speaking, canning the bounty of our backyard, that was mine.  Oh, and being alone with three little boys as the husband is away for a conference in Chişinău.

Also, it's hot.

Makes him look younger

Here's my take on the whole story:  There is no phony beard, and no hiding in Southeast Asia.

The man's dyed his beard and his hair because it makes him look younger.  Even terrorists can have a sense of style, no?

That one's easy.

Of course, we knew it all along

Attentive parents of ADHD children (bad pun, sorry) didn't actually need scientific confirmation of this little fact of life:

Common food additives and colorings can increase hyperactive behavior in a broad range of children, a study being released today found.

It was the first time researchers conclusively and scientifically confirmed a link that had long been suspected by many parents. Numerous support groups for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder have for years recommended removing such ingredients from diets, although experts have continued to debate the evidence.

But the new, carefully controlled study shows that some artificial additives increase hyperactivity and decrease attention span in a wide range of children, not just those for whom overactivity has been diagnosed as a learning problem. (NYTimes)

Reds, yellows and blues are the culprits in our household. Cheetos are the devil.

As I said, it's not surprising but somehow it's nice to know that we had it right all those years.