Ex Patria

The law of the land

Some days are rougher than others.  Some days start out good, turn bad, and turn to good again.  Today was one of those days.  It started with kids all waking up happy, with laughter and fun.  It started with good school and then turned bad when an unnamed kid just would not cooperate at all.  Let's just gloss over the next three hours.  It all turned good again when said kid realized his behavior was causing unhappiness for everybody and tried his best to remedy the situation.  Now, everybody is happy and all smiles again.  That chestnut necklace he made for me as a token of apology sure didn't hurt.

While he and his helper slaved away on the chestnuts (it was a secret project and caused, I was told, lots of pricked fingers -- "but look, I can still move my hand, so it was not so bad!"), Jacob had the idea of writing down the "rules of school":

1. Have a great teacher!

2. Do your reading lesson daily

3. Do your writing assignment

4. Get A's, no F's

5. Don't be grumpy, be happy!

6. Put your stuff where it belongs (jackets on the hooks!)

7. Clean up after you finish playing (that's a carpet with toys on it - have you ever stepped on a piece of Lego with bare feet?  Sensible rule, that.)

I will frame them and put them on the wall because they are awesome, and because at the beginning of school, he couldn't write at all.  I think he's done an amazing job.  Don't tell me he didn't do a great job because I won't listen to you. Also, I'm not biased in the least.

And as a bonus picture, the girl returning from the park with her loot:

Fall flowers and chestnuts.  Happy 2nd day of autumn!

 

Picture of the week

(Click on the image to go to the large size on Tumblr.  Click there again for supersized version.)

85mm at 2.5, ISO 400, 1/200 sec. 

It didn't need much editing at all, but I wanted to add a little more zest to it, and the image was on the very, very cool side.  I warmed it up a bit with "Miracles" by Paint The Moon. I turned off the "Brighten" layer (my camera does shoot brightly to begin with, I almost always turn the "Brighten" layers off in her actions), and dialed the whole thing down to 45%.  I sharpened the eyes a tiny little bit - it's not even visible in the layers but it makes a difference in print. 

This particular image is downsized for web with my trusty go-to Totally Rad Actions Facebook prep action.  That's a very handy little action that comes for free when you like them on Facebook.  It sharpens and downsizes all in one.

The image was take at 5 pm in our frontyard.  I had the kids lie down on the ground.  I stood on a chair that I had taken outside and put over Leah's legs.

I love the catchlights in their eyes and the way they had to laugh because it was so silly - that got me some very natural expressions.  But it really bothers me that I keep forgetting to push her hair out of her face.  If it wasn't for that errant strand of hair on her forehead, it'd print this up on canvas. 

Sigh.  That learning curve, it curves forever.

Confidence!

So I'm going to a photography workshop in DC in a few weeks.  I'm so excited!

First, I get to spend over a week with my best friend.  That alone is priceless. No kids, no homeschooling, no mom-24/7, just me and my camera and my friend (and her kid, and her husband, and her cats...) Heh.  The only thing I have to do at her house is make lasagna.  Easy-peasy, as my kids would say.

Two days on the weekend are taken up by the workshop and I'm so happy that I finally get to go.  I've been wanting to go to this workshop ever since my friend Monique put that particular flea into my ear.  She's one awesome photographer and has encouraged me every step on my way.  Without her selfless praise, I don't think I'd be where I am today in my photography. Check out her work!  Those adorable twins are hers, by the way.  An all around lucky girl, Monique is.

She introduced me to Me Ra Koh and her photography and I've followed Me Ra's website and blog for years now.  We've dreamed of going to a workshop together but with us stuck in Germany between jobs and little money, and her living in Colombia and then Spain, it was difficult and turned out to be impossible.  Monique ended up going to the workshop in Arizona in the spring and I am going in a few weeks to DC!  Yay!

So, what do I want from this workshop? 

I want to shoot in Manual.  At the moment, I'm primarily shooting in AV mode (aperture priority) which means I'm setting the aperture and the ISO and the camera works out the shutter speed.  I can adjust that up and down with the spin of a wheel and I often do that - that's sort of shooting in half Manual.  But I rarely shoot in full M.  I just get confused with too many things to do at once.  (I have to admit that I felt the same way when I just jumped into AV mode - I often forgot and still sometimes do, to adjust the ISO settings from one shoot to the next.  So maybe I should just do it... Hm.)  I've gotten fast with AV and M just slows me down so much.  I photograph mostly children and they are fast moving targets.  Speed is of the essence. So, I need some encouragement with that.

Me Ra says we will shoot in M after the workshop but how that works, I'm curious to see.  The range of photograpy skills in this group is wide - from the professional photographer to the new mom who just got her first camera.  The teacher in me whispers that she's glad she doesn't have to teach 22 levels of skill at the same time.  Apparently, Me Ra pulls it off and that's why I go to this workshop.

Also, I want more confidence.  I have this little nagging voice in my brain that always tells me I'm not good enough, don't have enough experience, blah, blah, blah.  So, confidence in my skills is definitely on my list of things I need. 

Let's have at it!

 

Moldovan massage

DId you ever have a Moldovan massage?

No, it's not special in the way a Thai massage is special.  It's just the details that are different but it never seizes to amaze me how different those details are.

I've had lots of massages in my life.  I have a weak neck and ever since I was 18 and my brother whacked his leg cast on my head (it was an accident and he was terribly sorry), I've been having troubles with it.  It's all not as stable as it should be, things move around, squeeze off nerves or blood vessels and then I have major, major headaches.  Also very stiff shoulder muscles, muscle cramps, all that jazz.  Not helping is that I'm constantly overstretching my neck since I'm blind in the right eye but I need to turn to the right side to see what's behind me when I backup the car.  Like, right now, I have a burning pain in my right shoulder and I just now that things are out of whack again.

I used to get chiropractic treatments for my neck but I don't really want to do that in foreign places where traditions and medical procedures are surprisingly often just very different and the neck is such a sensitive area.

Ergo, massages.  Those are reasonably safe and even if they don't do something for me, at least they feel nice.

Unless you go to Mamaia and get a massage at the Vega Hotel.  There, they torture you.  "I know it hurts", the massagist chirped cheerfully.  "But I rather have my patients in pain on my table and without pain as soon as they go out the door than the other way around."  I couldn't agree more.  While it was excruciatingly painful at times ("Breathe, don't forget to breathe"), it was like the sun went up in my head.  Oh, the clarity of thought!  The brilliance of perception!  I was a new person.  Nobody could touch my back for days because the muscles were so sore but my head, it was wonderful.

I came back from the beach and asked around for a good massage therapist. On Tuesday, the lady came to my house with her table (extra payment for the taxi) and I submitted to her hands.

No, it was not like Mamaia.

It was also not like in Bali, or in Germany, or in the US, or on the cruise ship.  It had several "firsts", and that's not an easy trick to pull on a massage veteran like me.

First, Moldovans have no patience for Western delicacies and think covering the massaged person is just piffle.  In Germany, they don't cover you up for modesty reasons, they cover you up so that you don't get cold.  In the US, I think they cover you for modesty and warmth.  I mean, I've never been so wrapped up during a massage.  Not saying it's bad, but it goes along with the fact that Americans prefer to go to the sauna all dressed.  In Moldova, no such thing.  "Get undressed", the lady told me in Romanian.  I wasn't quite sure I understood.  Everthing? Everything.  Okay. I firmly left my undies on.  I think she rolled her eyes a bit but I can't be quite sure.

I made to lie down on the table she had brought along.  Upon which I put with my towel.  She hadn't anything to cover the table - do people just lie down on the cold polyvinyl or does everybody have a handy towel?  But when I lowered myself, she stopped me -- no, lie down face up first.  Okay....  That was a bit awkward, even for me hardy German.  I had just met this woman five minutes before, now I should just lie down, face and bits up?  I was glad for my undies.

She started at the feet, which was all right.  The legs, that was good, too.  The belly.

The belly?  I have never, ever, ever before had my belly massaged.  I just googled it and it doesn't seem that unusual.  But I had never had it before, so it took me a bit by surprise.  I'm also ticklish... it wasn't unpleasant.  No, it was somewhat unpleasant.  But then I am good in telling myself it's like doing crunches only without the effort.

Then she massaged my breasts.  I also googled that and apart from the fact that the word "sexual" pops up a lot in the search results, it doesn't seem that unusual, either.  But I never had this done before, either!  What a massage virgin I turned out to be.  I am telling myself that my chest muscles can do with the action but I confess, I'm not sure what to think of it.

The rest was pretty straight forward.  Yes, she also massaged my butt.  Yeah, she needed to pull and rearrange a bit as she went along.  Which was fine for me, really.  Then she asked me, had I noticed I had cellulite? Um.  Yes?  Like, on my 16th birthday?  Which didn't mean I needed to hear this from her in quite this blunt a manner.  I mused upon this while she kept poking at my derriere, whether it was a good thing to be completely honest with a naked person you are touching all over, or whether a certain amount of discretion is more appropriate when you massage a women in her forties.  I didn't come to a conclusion but I'm here to tell you that it didn't sting any less when she told me half an hour later at the door, she tought I was a hero for coping with those four kids, and that cellulite.

But heh.  I felt better, so she's coming back, and I'm a little more experienced.  Not at all a bad thing.

The Beach

Last weekend (the one before this), we went to the beach.

Yes, I hear you.  Moldova is a landlocked country.  Believe me, we are acutely aware of this.  No, we had decided months ago to spend one weekend in our old hunting grounds in Mamaia, Romania.  That's where we used to go when we lived in Bucharest, oh those many years ago.

That particular weekend was dictated by the fact that we wanted Alan and his old friend Georgie to meet.  They were best buddies in Yerevan and even though they haven't seen each other for four years, they still talked about each other, so we Moms conspired to bring them together for a very special playdate.

We spent twelve friggin' hours driving to Mamaia.  No, that's not normal.  Someone of Doug's acquaintance suggested taking the route south through Gagauziya, crossing at Galati and then driving through Dobrugea to Mamaia.  I had no problems with the latter part but the Gagauziya thing?  Not a great idea.  In retrospect, it was wonderful to see this part of the country and I delighted in reading the quasi-Turkish signs and explaining to my family what they meant. 

But first we spent a needless hour getting lost while trying to find the road south.  The navigator is notoriously unreliable in Moldova, and mapreading skills are unevenly distributed in this family.   Halfway to Transnistria, we realized our mistake, turned around and finally figured out where to go.  Suddenly we found ourselves on a wonderful, smooth, empty Autobahn-style road and you just know this story cannot have a good ending.   That road abruptly ends after a little while, much too soon, and then you are left to go over increasingly REALLY BAD roads.  We had everything from cobblestones to dirt to square concrete blocks that were not seamlessly fitted together.  Not to mention missing pieces of road right where you don't seem them.  Steep inclines no road should have, with the respective sheer drops on the other side.  The boys called them "rollercoaster" roads.  You know that I've driven some bad roads on this planet, so when I say it was bad, it was very bad.

The landscape was nice, though.  Did you know that thousands years ago the Black Sea was much bigger?  Those dunes in southern Gagauziya (I just love that word) are actually beaches.  Only, the water isn't there anymore, it's now 50 km further to the east. 

However, the border crossing at Guirguilesti/Reni took three (3) hours.  It was unbelievably slow.  I have no idea what took so long because it was not that they frisked the cars or grilled the people.  They were just slow.  Very.  Slow.

So instead of being at the beach at 3 pm as we had planned, we stood in the non-moving line for the next three hours.  The kids, I have to say, were great.  They even tolerated the proselytizing attempt of some Baptist ministers with good humor.

At six we were in Galati and stopped at the McDonald's.  Then we crossed the Danube on a tiny car ferry and finally got to Mamaia a mere three hours later.  We went straight to the beach, in the dark.  And again the next day.  And the day after that.  We went to the AquaMagic waterpark where Doug spun in the toilet bowl, we rode the Telegondola, we met Georgie and his family and Alan spent Saturday afternoon with his friend.  I'm so bummed I didn't make a photo of them!  Meanwhile, I got the best massage of my life.  Boy, it hurt!  It was very painful but afterwards, I felt wonderful and for the first time in maybe years, my neck didn't give me any trouble for days.  Unless I touched the sore muscles, but that's a small price to pay.  Saturday evening we went to the beach again,  and then one more time on Sunday before we needed to go back.  We had the most wonderful time and the kids were just besides themselves.  They had so much fun and now they are talking constantly about when we can go back.

I pleaded with Doug but his work didn't allow for another day off, so we had to go back on Sunday.  We took a different route and were much quicker.

The end.